My last post.

was so happy. and i love how one little thing can just ruin my day.

ofcourse i make brownies for shannon and they come out hard as bricks.
i tell my mom. she does nothing.
i ask her if we have tissue paper.
she says go look.
i said i did.
she said oh well.
i said what am i supposed to do?
she said i dont know! just go find something im not your slave.
etc. etc. etc.
then she goes on rambling about how i never do anything. and how i always need something and how my brothers never did any of this stuff. and thats where i break.
she always compares me to my brothers and i cant stand it.
that is the one thing that bugs me the most.
she ALWAYS compares me to them
because im different?!
OH IM SORRY IM NOT IN COLLEGE TO BE A DENTIST OR SOME SUPER AMAZING ARTIST.
shit. i'm surrounded by all these people with all this talent.
and i feel like i have none. at this point i dont even know what im here for.
i feel like i was an accident. there is no plan for me here.
i need somebody to talk to.
somebody who will understand. someone who has no talent. like me.
but theres no one. everyone has their thing. and i have nothing.
guy- cars, and dentistry
ralph- art
mom- yoga
dad- plumbing

plus. i suck at school. i mean i guess it wouldnt be as bad if i was good at school.
but i thought art would be my favorite. and the bitch hates me already.
my project is terrible compared to everyone else. i hate it.
i hate being here.
i really wish i could be gone.
i need a getaway.
i need to runaway.
i need my own apartment.
i guess im proving my mom right.
i need to much.
i dont care.
i want to get out of here.
im dying in my this body.